Let Go of Negativity
Mindset Workout
Emotional Workout
Brief Description
You MUST become good at letting harmful negativity go.
This workout is designed to help you understand how to let go of that negativity, especially long-standing negativity like grudges that greatly reduce your effectiveness as a leader.
Even more challenging is letting go of limiting beliefs, many times subconscious, that stem from an event in your past – an unkind word, criticism from a trusted friend, a betrayal. If you are continuing to relive these stories, you are holding onto negativity that is holding you back from reaching your potential.
James Carter is the Founder and CEO of Be Legendary. He has spo
ken for hundreds of groups and thousands of people while training hundreds of new and experienced facilitators on how to facilitate meaningful activities. James is also the co-author of two books with others like Stephen Covey, Ken Blanchard, Deepak Chopra and Brian Tracy. James lives in Boulder, CO with his family and rides his bike as much as possible.
Energy, and negative energy
Energy is all that exists in our world. Without energy, nothing happens.
When you are in bed sick with the flu, how much energy do you have? Little to none.
How productive are you when you are sick with the flu? Same answer as above.
That is physical energy. There are three other kinds of energy as well:
- Mental energy
- Emotional energy
- Spiritual energy
You get sick with the flu in each one of these areas as well!
You already know of an extremely common Spiritual Energy ‘flu’. It is called the ‘Mid-Life Crisis’. People are spiritually drained and can do very little else except try to recover.
Holding onto negative emotions, keeping grudges and retelling yourself stories about how this or that person has wronged you is a massive drain on your emotional energy.
Letting that negativity go feels like a massive weight is lifted off your shoulders and many people feel ‘free’ for the first time in a VERY long time.
This is common in any long-term relationship in life.
That moment when you are driving in your car, dreading walking in the door and looking THAT person in the face. Having to spend another minute with THAT person makes you want to turn the car around and go back to bed.
HUGE RED FLAG!
However, you are in control of those feelings and the emotional energy that surrounds it.
Therapists have a particular modality to help you. The activity below is far simpler and works better for many people.
Watch the video below and actually participate in the activity – go get a glass of water.
Go get a glass of water – SERIOUSLY.
Good or not, our greatest learning occurs when attached to emotion – all kinds of emotion.
Thinking is mental, no emotion.
If you watch the video below without participating, you are cheating yourself of a powerful learning opportunity.
So – before you begin, do yourself a favor and get a glass of water. Or anything heavy you can hold with one hand.
KEY POINTS:
No one can be MADE to put the glass down.
Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
Damage from the negativity comes from how LONG you holding onto it, not how BAD the negativity was in the moment.
WRITE DOWN – not just in your mind – someone whom you are holding a grudge against. Or even just someone who frustrates you. List all the times they have done something that just pissed you off.
We tend to create and hold a ‘catalog’ of frustrating scenarios and instances – stories – about people so that when the time comes, WHAMO, we can hit them with REAL examples.
These real examples are almost always negative. Rarely do we hold onto and ‘catalog’ all of the examples of how someone is awesome.
Try to think of instances in which that person is totally awesome. Can you think of any? For most people, *maybe* one or two instances come to mind and that is after thinking VERY hard.
Who is the problem here? You. (well me too because I fall into this trap as well)
It is time to put the glass down. Intentionally let those stories go.
Make a commitment to yourself to find GOOD stories about that person. Watch for them with intensity. Ask other people:
- ‘What is <insert name here> really good at?’
- ‘What do you like about <insert name here>?’
Or not.
I can’t make you put the glass down.
What I know to be true is that if you intentionally let go of that negativity, you will have additional energy to put elsewhere.
If you keep holding that glass up, the only person you are hurting, is you.